Letters To Seneca – Letter 28

Dear Seneca,

My wife went off for a work trip, so I’m riding solo for a week. This makes me think about the importance of creating space. Creating space in relationships with others and yourself.

It’s never enjoyable to see someone you care about leave, but that willingness to let go is a critical practice. Letting go not only of the person but the strict attachment to them. This space allows for individual freedom, living separate lives, so once you’re back together, you can share different experiences. This separation creates desire, mystery, and independence. All traits can help a relationship sustain for the long term.

This is not only relevant for relationships with others but for yourself. Specifically, one’s mind. The goal of this space is to make it permanent. Creating space between the self and mind is a never-ending task of observation and understanding. I’ve noticed that this process starts out as intellectual understanding, leading to tiny bursts of practice. There are seconds when I observe my mind, which forces space in between.

These seconds of space lead to micro-seconds of peace and contentment. In those micro-moments, I’m not controlled by the mind. The present is where I’m focused. Creating separation is a hard task.

The question is, why is it so hard to create separation between the self and mind? What are we so attached to that we’re willing to pass up on peace, in favor of pain? The answers are specific for each person, but the questions are similar.

Creating space is what I’m aiming for in multiple aspects of my life. Creating space between myself and significance, attachment, and mind. To make progress here I need to create space in time to observe and question my behaviors.