Letters To Seneca – Letter 18

Dear Seneca,

We all have weak points within our personality and when poked we react in emotional ways. Some people will close down emotionally, others will lash out, and others will avoid future chances for that interaction to happen again. Simple examples of these weak points could be someone calling you fat, stupid, ignorant, selfish, etc. The depth of emotion felt by each weak point varies person and their attachment to that weak point.

But why… Why do people feel so protective over the weak points they hold so close? It’s because deep down, they believe that this weak point is true.

Let’s say someone comes up to you and calls you a lamp instead. Yes, a lamp, the light source. In that situation you’re likely to laugh and shrug off the interaction, not taking it to heart or being hurt by that experience. You’re able to do that because you know deep down that you’re not a lamp, so it’s meaningless to get protective.

The next question is – How do we improve in moments like this? The surface-level answer is to improve at calming your emotions, breathing through the moment, and not getting emotional. This is a temporary fix. You’re not fixing the root cause, instead, you’re focusing on the surface-level response.

What you should do instead is reflect and unravel the inner weaknesses, getting to the core of why this weak point exists in the first place. Once you can observe the truth, the “fixing” will take care of itself. There’s no action needed after the observation, observing the true weakness in its entirety will help you let go of that weakness.

Letting go, that’s the key! Once you’ve let go of the weakness, it’s no longer your burden to protect, instead, you’re free. Free to interact with the world without shaping your life to avoid all potential encounters that could harm your weakness.

Currently, I’m going through the discovery process, trying to unravel as many weak points as I can find based on previous interactions. The core truths to each weak point are still escaping me, but I know that’ll come with time.